Reality
by RumAngel
Summary: Sebastian/F!Hawke - one shot. Hawke reflects back on her memories of her deceased mother, sister and best friend after she arrives in Starkhaven. She seeks out comfort from the man she loves but does he give it to her? Read to find out!


I do not own Dragon age or its characters. I'm just a big fan.

Pairing: Sebastian/F!Hawke.

Genera: Angst, Comfort, Romance, Smut.

AN:/ Just a one shot of Sebastian and Hawke. I'll do my best to keep the characters cannon. Enjoy :)

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><p><span>Prologue:<span>

Enter Starkhaven.

Hawke had just arrived in Starkhaven a week ago and already she was beside herself with amazement. The streets, the buildings. Everything seemed so glamorous, especially compared to Kirkwall. Sebastian had the throne secure a year after the mess between the Templars and Mages began where as Hawke was crowned Viscountess right away.

Hawke had now spent her time in castle Vael with Sebastian, so that together they may create a strong alliance in the Free Marches. She wasn't princess yet however but their growing support from the rest of Thedas was enough to make them both happy in the years to come.

Many things had changed for Hawke, for one she was about to be married and had a future set in place before her where she would rule happily at to her loves side. She was in a new place in her life where she never thought she'd ever be and she was grateful. Even if she missed her companions back in Kirkwall they promised to visit as did she.

For now Hawke was happy with her decisions and was looking forward to the future set before her.

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><p>Hawke awoke in her chambers early one morning. The sky still black as night with rain trickling along the windowpanes. She shifted the covers off of her slim frame and climbed out of the large bed. Since the passing of her mother and sister Hawke could never relax when it rained, something about rain and storms made her anxious. Hawke wasn't a woman who was easily scared nor was she one to seek out any one's comfort when times got hard. Though right now, she couldn't muster enough strength to be strong and she succumbed to fear and tears. With a silent sob rippling through her body Hawke pushed herself forward and lit a candle. With blindsight due to her tears she found her robe and pulled it on, tugging it closed securely. She moved towards her chambers door, candle in hand and proceeded out into the hallway.<p>

Castle Vael was large, and she still had trouble finding her way in the daylight. Though she knew the pathway towards the room she needed to be in and headed for that through the darkness. Her bare feet pressed against the floor as she padded at a slow pace. She knew she shouldn't be doing this but the aching in her heart couldn't be fought any longer. Hot tears streamed down Hawke's face as she did her best to keep her cries silent as to not alert the guard. Explaining herself at a time like this would be complete agony.

Hawke peered around a corner and treaded quietly forwards. She sniffed, moving her free hand to wipe at her cheeks while her other hand which held the single candle's holder shook with the sounding thunder echoing under the heavy stone walls of the castle. Her dark chestnut tresses rolled over her shoulders as she darted down the long hallway. She quickly padded towards the door at the end of the hall, running towards it now as more tears fled her deep blue eyes. She was nearly there, the door right in front of her was right in her grasp. She hadn't even noticed the candles light blown out while she reached for the door handle and made her way inside.

She closed the door behind her, her breathing heavy even though she had only ran a short distance. She gasped for air as she choked back another sob and winced as a flash of lightning lit the dark room. Hawke's breathing slowed as she stood in front of the door, reaching over to the table at her side to set down the candle. She proceeded further into the room then, taking light steps onto the large rug laid out upon the floor.

He was here. She could hear his soft breathing of uninterrupted slumber. It brought her aching heart some ease, knowing that she wasn't alone but it couldn't comfort another sob that left her aching form. She placed one hand over her mouth to muffle the sound but she couldn't help herself. If she could lay next to him without waking him it should help the pain of her memories and ease her sadness.

Hawke walked slowly to the empty side of the bed, easing her slim frame upon it. She didn't wish to disturb him - especially for her own sake. She could manage on her own, gain her strength back and then she would be fine - she told herself. He was turned towards her, his expression soft and relaxed with the blankets just tucked under his forearm. She tried to see the happiness in what she saw before her and though it would make for a fond, warm memory her heart still grieved with the pouring rain outside.

She lay facing him, letting her head rest against the spare pillow. She closed her eyes as the next roll of thunder sounded causing the continuous flow of tears to remain - dampening the fabric of the pillow. She missed her mother and sister terribly, their deaths could have been prevented and she only blamed herself for not being able to stop what occurred before it was too late. It had been ages since she last cried and now that she thought of it the loss of one of her friends was the last time she had. She sobbed again, unable to hold this one back as she thought of Ander's dead body laying upon the ground by her hand.

Hawke closed her eyes tighter as she cried, one hand gripping at the fabric of her robe over her heart. She shouldn't have come here to cry, she was being foolish and selfish and she would only cause trouble and unwanted attention. She was being frail and weak by doing this. She should have stayed in her chambers and cried alone - as she always had. She moved to sit up, wet eyes opening slowly to meet the darkness of the room again. Suddenly, her wrist was grasped and she was tugged back against the bed.

Strong arms folded around her as one large hand pressed against the back of her head holding her against a hard shoulder. She lost it then, crying out in agonizing sobs, allowing her hands to press against a firmly muscled bare chest as she was nearly crushed against it.

"Shhh, lass.. I'm here..." His voice whispered in her ear as her body shook against his. Her tears dripped down his skin and she instantly felt ashamed for what she was doing.

"I-I'm so sorry.. S-Sebastian..." She muttered in-between broken sobs, pushing herself away from him slightly.

He obliged, loosening his hold around her though he kept her within reach. His hand reached up to touch the side of her damp face, using gentle thick fingertips to feather away the tears. "There's no need to apologize, love..." He whispered, his eyes locking with hers.

Hawke's lower lip quivered while she bit back another sob. She moved her hands to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to his warm frame. She buried her face against the nape of Sebastian's neck. He held her there, stroking his long fingers down her hair until she was all cried out.

Feeling mentally weak and emotionally drained Hawke's breathing settled into a gentle rhythm. Her tears had ran dry and empty leaving her with nothing other than an aching hole in her heart. She reopened her eyes, slowly untangling her form from Sebastian's. Their gazes met again and he moved to press a gentle kiss upon her forehead. "Now.. tell me what that was about..?" He whispered in a concerned tone.

Hawke nodded slowly, her matted chestnut curls pressed against her face. "I-I miss mother... and Bethany. I- I can't handle storms..." She whispered, closing her eyes as she listened to the rain continuing to peck at the window.

Sebastian stared at her, watching her expression as she spoke. He sighed lightly, a bit in relief that his loved one had not been harmed. "I'm sorry about your family sweetling, they are at the Makers side now. I'm sure that they miss you too and are watching over you, even now." He offered a smile to her while tracing gentle circles along her shoulders.

Moving one hand to brush along the side his stubbled cheek she leaned forward. "Thank you, Sebastian..." She pressed her nose and forehead against his and smiled softly. Her lips were but an inch away from his now, moist, firm and vulnerable under hers. It was hard to resist the urge. They slept in separate beds, in different rooms even if they were engaged. It was the vow they swore to each other until their marriage was finalized. But what was one, small kiss?

Maker knew Hawke shouldn't be feeling the way she did right now, especially after what she just went through. Hawke's emotions were spiraling around her like a whirl wind though she needed this comfort. Would he push her away? yell? could she handle that sense of rejection right now on top of everything else? "I.. need you..." Hawke whispered as she slowly closed her eyes, going on instinct and slanted her mouth over his. She didn't push too much into it, letting her lips only feather against his in the faintest of ways. His hands clutched her arms then and in her surprise she froze, her lips still connected to his.

Hawke began to feel the wave of rejection wash over her as her eyes reopened to gaze over his face. Deep blue eyes upon aqua bore into one another sending a flutter to her heart. The look he gave her was both menacing and hungry and yet he didn't disconnect their lips.

Sebastian groaned, rolling their forms so that he came to rest atop her using his forearms against the mattress for support. He parted their lips slightly, grazing his teeth over her lower lip. "Hawke... you will be the end of me..." He whispered huskily closing his eyes and returned her kiss with fervor. Hawke slid her arms around Sebastian's neck, drawing him in closer, her fingers tangled in his auburn hair as her lips were slowly coaxed open by his own. She mewled softly as he moved his tongue into her mouth and placed a hand against her cheek while the other gripped her side.

Hawke raised her hips against his, her hands traveling down the bare plains of Sebastian's back. The many years of being a rouge had done wonders for his marvelous body and that thought alone had Hawke shivering in wanton. His fingers began to draw up her robe, tracing his digits along the soft skin of her pelvis. Their kiss grew heated as Sebastian untangled the blankets from between them and tugged open Hawke's robe, exposing her flesh in abashment. Her taught stomach was tickled by his fingers crawling up her ribs to her breasts which were soon covered by his large hands, massaging and plucking the soft budding peaks. A noise of satisfaction escaped Hawke's throat as his tantalizing tongue took charge of her mouth and a source of heat began to expand from her center.

Hawke allowed her hands to slide down Sebastian's long frame to the waist of his trousers, tugging them down impatiently. He parted their lips with a low hiss trailing kisses down the side of her jaw and neck. He knew all the right places to nip and suck to drive her wild and she withered beneath him in pleasure. Her fingers traced his firm buttocks giving them a tight, teasing squeeze. Sebastian growled as he quickly drew his hands to Hawke's smalls, shimmying them down to her ankles. His hot mouth continued down her body, leaving searing kisses in his wake. He lapped his tongue over her right breast, taking the nub into his mouth giving it a gentle suck. She moaned out his name, moving her finger tips down along his sides to his front stretching out her digits to wrap her hand around his hard member. He rolled his hips gently against her hand as she guided his tip to her entrance.

"Please... Sebastian..." She whispered watching him slowly roll his tongue across her breast.

His brows lowered slightly and he raised himself up, resting on his knees on either side of her. "Hawke, you know we shouldn't..." His tone however hesitant, was heavy with desire. "You will be my Princess soon enough love, and on our wedding night I will more than oblige in taking you and claiming you for my own. But today, sweetling... I will demonstrate what you can look forward to for the rest of your life with me.." He smirked, feathering his fingertips down Hawke's thighs and parted them slowly.

Hawke bit her lower lip in anticipation, letting her head fall back against the pillows with chestnut locks fanning out around her. Sebastian lowered his frame and took position between Hawke's legs. He teased her with his talented tongue, circling her nub with his tongue while his fingers slipped past her slick folds. She was already wet for him and her taste and smell was driving him wild. The need to be enveloped within her was greater than he imagined but that would have to wait. He would bide his time and show her what mindless pleasures awaited her in the next few days to come before their wedding.

His slow torture continued until Hawke was gripping the sheets and crying out in pleasure, her body arched into him as he gave her clit a final suck and rose from his position from between her legs. Hawke panted with heavy eyelids as her lover lay next to her. She curled against his frame, closing her eyes. "I love you, Sebastian..." She whispered.

His arm drew around her holding her tight against him. "I love you too, Hawke." He placed a feather light kiss atop her head and she fell into a deep sleep.

Hawke awoke with a start, her breathing labored as if she just woke up from a nightmare. Her vision scanned over the room and she slowly rose an eyebrow. She was back in her chambers. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep, naked with Sebastian in his room. How did she end up back here? She glanced down at herself, her robe was back on and still knotted shut. She raised a hand and smoothed out her chestnut tresses and moved to get changed. She walked out of her room after she was dressed and made her way down the hall. Where was Sebastian? Surely he was up by now?

She wandered down the hallway, finding his chambers more easily than she had the night before and gave a gentle knock upon the door. She opened it and peered inside. It was empty, he wasn't there. She shook her head and turned back up the hallway. What time was it? Had she slept half the day? With a worried expression she found the nearest guard. "Where's Sebastian?" She asked and he pointed towards his office. She nodded her head in thanks and rushed forward towards the door, she burst into his office sending some papers to be scattered across the large desk.

"Hawke? What's the matter, love?" He asked her casually, setting aside his papers that were in his hands. He stood from his desk and made his way towards her with a concerned expression.

"Sebastian... did we...?" She bit on her lower lip, confusion rippling through her as she stood there staring at his approach.

"Did we... what?" He asked moving a hand to her shoulder.

Hawke searched his expression and frowned at what she found there. He was just as confused as she was. "We didn't then... was it just a dream?" She mumbled to herself, averting her gaze and angled it towards the floor.

"What are you talking about, sweetling? Did you have a bad dream?" He cupped the side of her face and tilted her head to look at him.

She stared into his eyes and slowly she shook her head. "No.. it was a good one." She sighed and leaned her cheek against his palm. "It doesn't matter, I love you Sebastian.." She mumbled and smiled faintly.

Sebastian returned her smile and pressed a chaste kiss upon her forehead. "I love you too, Hawke." He stated and watched as she drew away from him.

Hawke walked slowly out of her Princes' office with another sigh. The dream was just too good to be true.

"Oh and Hawke..." Sebastian called after her.

She turned to look back at him and arched an eyebrow in question. "You left your small clothes in my room last night. I'll be happy to return them to you in your chambers this evening..."

There was a lusty smirk upon the Prince of Starkhaven's face that had Hawke reeling back in shock, her mouth hanging open with an audible pop. Sebastian chuckled and pursed his lips as his love turned and walked away quickly with a flushed expression. He was looking forward to pleasing and teasing her every day for the long and happy years that they were together.

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><p>AN: Hopefully this fic wasn't too confusing or out of character. Thank you for reading! :D


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